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Category Archives: Children
Did you know that Widow Swankey and King Herod used to play together as children, along with Widow Swankey’s sister Mabel (or was that Cabel)?
Or did you know that the donkey got really upset because those humans, Mary and Joseph, didn’t seem to care that there was a baby in his food?
Or that one of the Wise Men thought that a cloud looked like a sheep with no legs and no head?!
Well, this year’s nativity taught us a lot of new things and was fantastic fun. Oh no it wasn’t! Oh yes it was!
Rosa, one of the young people in Kid’s Church wrote and directed the amazing Pantivity, or was a Natomine, and had us rolling around with laughter. The children were absolutely fantastic, the adults didn’t do to badly either and the donkey made a complete ass of himself!
This Sunday is the third Sunday in Advent and is also known as Gaudete Sunday or Rose Sunday – you can read more on Wikipedia or by using Google. Gaudete is the Latin word for Rejoice, and that is exactly what we aim to do this Sunday as our children perform a nativity play that has been written by Rosa, one of the Kid’s Church.
All Hallows youth took the canal by storm last Sunday as part of our bi monthly youth group!
The rain held off long enough for a picnic and water fight by the canal before we ate ice creams and played card games at Hannah’s place. Paint balling and Go Ape were mentioned as future desired venues for youth trips. Help!
Your vicar got to do a lovely thing this morning – I led school assembly at Rosebank Primary, with Dr Taher from Leeds Grand Mosque. On the day my home country South Africa celebrates the end of apartheid, we talked about ending modern ‘apartheid’ between our (and other) faiths and cultures. We celebrated that God has made us all different and amazing – and that our differences can enrich each other’s lives. The children all left the assembly hall shouting ‘You’re amazing!’ at each other and their teachers 🙂 Praise God!
In the beginning, which happened near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one,’ but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating a bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden…..Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million.
One of the next important people was Noah, who built a big boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no Cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them his ‘Top Ten Commandments’. These include: don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbour’s stuff. And humor thy father and thy mother.
After Moses came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom always says ‘Close the door! Were you born in a barn?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)
During His life, Jesus had arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminium. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
On Sunday we looked at the Transfiguration (Mark 9.2-9) and, as usual, the children had far more interesting insights than we adults! Here are a few of their pieces of work that I managed to catch on camera. If you can’t read the text click on the picture to view a bigger version.
It was Ruth’s birthday so James planned a party, picnic and barbeque in the church gardens. Every one had a great time, especially the children (and James!)